Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Intravaginal Ejaculatory Latency Time

In their increasing desperation to combat major share price slides as more and more people become rightly nervous of swallowing their drugs, pharmaceutical companies are now sponsoring ‘research’ to try to prove that swallowing anti-depressants can help men overcome premature ejaculation.

‘Researchers’ had men swallow an anti-depressant two to three hours before intercourse, then, with a stop-watch in hand (no kidding!) they measured the time between vaginal penetration and male ejaculation. This, in a ponderous effort to sound scientific, was known as their “intravaginal ejaculatory latency time”.

This sort of creative clutching at straws (and stop-watches and goodness knows what else) indicates that the falling sales of the pharmaceutical companies must be really starting to impact.

Psychiatrists will have to quickly relabel premature ejaculation as a mental disorder to be entitled to a slice of the new action.


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