Sunday, September 04, 2005

F.D.A. Now Hiring

News Target satires new employment postings at the Food and Drug Administration (FDA):

Propaganda Officer: Help the FDA create and spread information that discredits products, companies and ideas that threaten FDA control. No scientific background necessary.
Science Censor: Bury scientific findings that harm the prestige and credibility of the FDA.
Chief Oppression Officer: Conduct armed raids on places where dangerous criminals are teaching patients about nutrition.
Kickback Coordinator: Keep tabs on FDA managers' investments in pharmaceutical companies. Criminal background preferred, mob ties are a plus.
Morale Officer: Keep FDA employees in line to boost morale and work efficiency.
Public Safety Program Director: Not really a full-time job. In fact, you don't even need to show up.


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11:31 AM  

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